Dear Someone,

I am willingly burying myself alive.

Dear Someone,

I am building high walls all around me again. I wish I didn't have to do that. I wish I knew how to stop.

Dear Someone,

I have got to go away. I need to reborn somewhere else, repent for all my sins alone and move on. I need a fresh new start - a real one this time. I only pray that I don't mess things up once again. 

Dear Someone,

Where am I? Where did I go? Where is my true self hidden? And what is this thing that has taken over me?

Dear Someone,

I am trying to understand what is wrong with me, trying to describe what I feel. Ashamed, sad, scared, and confused are the only words that pop out of my mind. Nevertheless, it's hard to understand what makes me feel this way. Everytime I try to think deeply about it I feel a wave of hate towards me. Why do I hate myself so much? What am I so guilty of? What makes me such a bad person? And being aware of all this, why can't I change?

Dear Someone,

I avoid looking at mirrors, glasses and all kinds of shiny surfaces, for I can't stand my own reflection. Is that really me? I hate the girl I see. I judge, pitty and despise the deep grey eyes I find staring right into my own. No, that can't be me. I look nothing like her. When I close my eyes, that is not the "me" I see.

Dear Someone,

I am gaining weight. I dont move much anymore, and I eat just because. I drown my sorrows in food. I grab everything I can eat. I eat even when I am not hungry. But food doesn't taste like food anymore, it has lost all it's flavour. I don't seem to be able to taste it any longer, so I just swallow it almost without chewing. Then I look at myself in the mirror and wish I hadn't eaten so much. 

Dear Someone,

I am so tired. At night I don't want to go to sleep, but in the morning I can't force myself to get up. I've slept 12, 14 hours in a row and still feel exausted. I don't want to move, or think, or breathe.

Dear Someone,

I am so scared. I didn't know one could lose control over one's body and mind like this. I want them back. I want both of them back. 

Dear Someone,

Why do I seem to care about looks so much? They are so overrated. And why do I seem to care so much about what other people think? And about what I deserve? Who do I think I am, after all? How highly do I think of myself? I'm just regular me. No better than anybody else.

Dear Someone,

Things get worse and worse everyday. I wonder if there is a botton to this well. If indeed there is, I must be very close to touch it. And the most fantastic thing about all this is that no one seems no notice. If I died right here, right now, no one would know. If I wanted to take my life away, nobody would be able to stop me. So why don't I?

Dear Someone,

I think I am going crazy. But if I am, am I not supposed not to know this is happening?

Dear Someone,

There are times like this when I look at my life desperate to find something that was not a waste of time. Sadly, I find none.

Dear Someone,

Is it best to stay true to myself even though I know that all I believe in is a lie I myself created? Is it best to believe my own words even though I know that all I say is meant to deceive? Is it best to keep protecting myself even though I know it hurts me more than it helps?

Dear Someone,

I have surrounded myself with pixels. How do I go back to real life now?

Dear Someone,

Do you believe in God? I find myself praying sometimes, not even sure if I am doing it the right way. If there really is a God, maybe he'll hear me. If there really is a God, maybe he'll help me. And even if there isn't, it's not like I'm not used to disappointment.

Dear Someone,

I always tell myself that tomorrow will be better. For some reason it never is. But I have to keep believing, otherwise, how would I get up every morning? Yes, tomorrow will be different. Tomorrow will be better. I know it will.

Dear Someone,

Everyone I talk to seems to admire me for one reason or another. Some say I am brave. Others say I am smart. Others find me pretty, although that has nothing to do with my own merit (it's just genes!) I wish I could take their compliments without thinking "if only you knew". I wish I could agree with at least part of what they say.

Dear Someone,

They gave us five days off so that we could organize our lives. Today is day four and I still haven't moved. There is something that doesn't let me do what needs to be done. I try to fight it but I'm too weak. I wonder if it's going to be like this forever.

Dear Someone,

I ran away from everything I knew only to find out that I couldn't escape from myself. Problems come from no one but me, and I'll always have my own company no matter how far I go. I wish I wasn't alone. I wish I wouldn't make myself so alone.